Category Archives: University

It’s been a while…

…and I miss uni so much! I don’t miss the lectures or the long dull essays but I do miss the people, the silly societies, the events and the fun creative assignments. Of course, there’s still plenty of creative stuff to get on with. Am working on three novels. One is being edited, the other is a fantasy epic whilst the other is a much shorter children’s book that I am writing for my little sister. Hopefully I’ll have it finished before she’s too old for it. I also plan to audition for a Vicar of Dibley play which is exciting but terrifying all at once. It’s been ages since I did any public speaking and even longer since I did any acting. Deep breaths…

Still haven’t found what you would call a proper job. I work part time in a kitchen but have applied for some jobs more suited to me and have an interview next week. Only problem is, it’s in Ipswich. Never even been there before. So here’s hoping I don’t get lost. As for graduate jobs, I’m keeping my eyes open and applying for paid internships. My ideal career would involve a lot of freelancing so am setting up my own projects. The first is a new website where I review books and write articles about writing.

Any exciting news in my life right now…not really, except!!!! I must tell you of this most amazing drink. Get yourself some white hot chocolate, pour in a dash of milk, stir, then add two small spoons of vanilla syrup, stir, hot water, stir (lots of stirring) and you get a heavenly drink resembling hot melted milky bars. Mmmmm!

Things that may happen on a Drama course…

  • You may freak out your flatmates as they overhear you rehearsing and have to convince them that you aren’t as insane as you sounded.
  • You may cover yourself in a strange combination of liquids, all for the sake of ‘art’.
  • On a good day, you’ll think you’re sooooo smart just because you are surrounded by books about philosophy, history, psychology, culture and more!
  • But then you remember that the other day you were pretending to be a wild animal and some people were getting so into it that they actually tried to sniff your bum. And then you cringe some more as you remember that you actually hissed back at them.
  • But what about all these intellectual debates? The ones which go on forever and it turns out in the end that nobody really believed in what they were arguing for in the first place.
  • You might find that some drama exercises result in tears because you went too deep into your own brain.
  • Then again, some days you’ll be back to shouting at curtains and walls and wondering what the hell you are even learning.
  • You will question your sanity, especially when you’re pretending to be escaping from a crocodile in a sewer.
  • You might be told that you make a beautiful dead body and not be sure whether you were being complimented or insulted.
  • You may spit ketchup all over the person who is marking your performance (but that might just be me).
  • You will wonder if your degree will be worth anything.
  • You may realise that acting is one of the silliest things you can do and that it doesn’t really make any sense. But you’ll still love it.
  • You’ll laugh a lot, cry a bit and bash your head against the wall. But you’ll have a lot of fun and wonder where the time went.
  • Jazz hands.

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Happy Times :)

Yep, still working on that script assignment and even though am handing it early, will still put it off a bit longer by writing pointless blog entry. Hello.

First thing I need to say is…WOOP! I go home for the Easter hols in a couple of days *insert little happy dance here*. Looking forward to seeing everyone again and can’t wait to take my little sister to see the Muppets and do an Easter Egg hunt for her. Also going to try and sort out this really cool volunteering opportunity so I’d better brush up on my interview skills. Seriously, I am awful and still cringe when I remember the following conversation that actually happened during an interview…Interviewer: “So, how did you get to where you are today?” Me: “I walked.” Well, it was true. I did walk. But somehow, I don’t think that was the answer they were looking for.

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But anyway, university is coming to an end now. It’s going to be sad to say goodbye. Edge Hill’s become like a second home to me and I’ve grown up loads these past three years (at least I like to think I have). Sorry, I’m having flashbacks and am starting to think that maybe university has actually made me more childish. Okay, let me rephrase. I’ve gained lots of confidence in the past three years and this confidence has given me the illusion of having grown up when in fact I’m just as childish as I’ve always been.

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Still no idea what I want to do with my life but I’m cool with that now.  I watched Benjamin Button the other day (cried like a baby as always) and there are some really good messages. One of which was that there are no rules to life. So maybe it’s okay not to know what you want to do. As long as you’re happy. And I’m very happy. See = 😀

Slowly Going Mad

Things are starting to get weird. I haven’t updated this blog for a while but now, I need to take a break from my screenplay for just a second and this is a good distraction. I’ve just introduced a new character. A pigeon, who’s sort of a spy pigeon (if they exist) who goes by the name of Feathers and enjoys watching cartoons. Seriously, when I started writing this, it was just a plain sci-fi drama but it seems I can’t write anything serious anymore. I then accidentally made myself laugh: “Protesters were apprehended this morning outside of the Houses of Parliament. It is said that they were arguing against the reinstatement of the death penalty. They have been executed.” Not sure if this is even funny but for some reason it amused me. Maybe I just have a dark sense of humour? Bugger! This is not meant to be funny. It’s about debating issues to do with human rights. Well, in part. Mainly it’s about how cool it would be to have technology that enables people to watch, record and influence dreams. Cool, but creepy. I’ve been keeping a dream journal too. Why you may ask? Oh, I don’t know. For fun? Anyway, if anyone were to watch my dreams, they’d probably think I was mad. Just the other night, I dreamt I was a tiny little fairy with sparkly wings. A few nights before that I was a super villain flying above the sea and then another night, I mysteriously transformed into a baked bean. Actually, last night was kind of creepy. I was on some sort of big adventure when suddenly I was being stalked by this thing called ‘the breath’ which was basically just this sinister breath on the air that followed me wherever I went and made me really ill and evil. Spooooky. Aren’t dreams fun? That’s all from me for now. Back to the screenplay…let’s see where it goes.

Update for Family and Friends Back Home :)

I started this blog as another way to keep in touch with friends and family back home but recently, I kinda forgot this and have been rambling and ranting and moaning (sorry). So, I thought it would be nice to actually tell you what I’ve been up to recently. If you’re interested?

Nothing overly exciting I’m afraid but hopefully when I graduate, I’ll be more free to do the things I really want to do. Like get a proper job, volunteering, work on all my writing projects and get back in touch with all the friends I’ve not been keeping very good contact with these past couple of years (sorry again).

First, university. It’s taking up my entire life! Luckily, all the long-winded essays are done. Now it’s the creative stuff so am currently working on writing the first few chapters of a novel, a screenplay and a portfolio of poetry. Then there’s this manifesto which will involve me dressing up as a pirate in a few weeks time as I take people on an interactive story in search of my lost treasure, arrr!

Still no job, and there seems little point getting one now. I finish completely by the beginning of May! Terrifying but exciting all at once. I sort of volunteer with the student radio but it’s just the one show a week. Mondays 9-11 if anyone fancies tuning in. I normally manage to embarrass myself at least once every show so that’s worth tuning in for, hehehe. If university has taught me one thing, it’s not caring when I do something stupid. I’ve also learnt that it’s still okay for adults to dress up in silly outfits (hence the pirate thing). 

Am also trying to be more healthy but am struggling to fit in my five a day. I’m managing about 3 a day but that’s better than none a day. It’s a sort of new years resolution even though I only really started this a couple weeks ago. Hopefully, will get back into running too. Probably will be doing the Sport Relief Mile if anyone wants to join me?

Lastly, you may have heard I submitted a novel to the Harper Voyager thing. Weeeelll, I was getting very excited because they put up an update saying they would let everyone know what is happening by 31st January. Still heard nothing (not since last January when they said my novel was under review). I’m not the only one though, and a couple of offers have gone out since this date so it’s not all over, hopefully. In the least, this experience has given me a lot more confidence about my work. Just got to start believing in myself I suppose.

That’s all from me, it’s late, I’m tired and I miss you all. x

One of those days

What do you do to cheer yourself up after one of those days?

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 You know the ones I mean. When every little thing goes wrong. For example; one of those days where your alarm wakes you up from an amazing dream that you can’t get back to. One of those days, you wake up to the news that you did rather badly in an assignment. One where you print off some work, go to collect it only to find it’s not there and there’s no time left to find a computer and print it off again. A day when you have no motivation so you just sit in class feeling completely blank, not able to concentrate, you stare out the window, you try and be interested in what everyone’s saying but it’s going in one ear and out the other. You wish you could actually get on with some proper writing only you have no ideas, so you go on Sims and make sim versions of The Avengers just because you can. You’ve wasted an hour now, there’s no getting it back. You call yourself a proper writer?

But then I remember, that none of these things are even important. I’m stupid and self-absorbed if I let them annoy me. There’s such horrible things going on in the world and I am lucky to have such a good life.

So, with my new perspective, I twist everything around. I write about the amazing dream, wondering where it will lead. I forget the work I should have printed off, I now have an extra week to work on it. I put on some brilliant music to give myself some energy and motivation. Later, I’m sure I will appreciate my Avenger sims and realise that they were fun to make and that any time wasted doing something you enjoyed was not time wasted at all. I remember every happy conversation, every passing smile and laughs that came out of today and realise that perhaps this was not a bad day after all. Why not focus on the good little things for a change? 

Oh, and as I mentioned The Avengers…hehehe

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You said it, Frodo…

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Two nights of amazing entertainment! I’ve really enjoyed watching the performances and am glad that at least my own act wasn’t a complete disaster. Can you believe, I actually managed to remember all my lines. As far as I know.

Now I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been so focused on this performance these past two weeks, it’s now weird not to need to think about it anymore. All I know is, I need a nice long sleep. Even been getting nightmares lately, which is odd. Haven’t had bad dreams in ages. I suppose everyone reacts to stress in different ways. Thanks to everyone for being so supportive. I really am a bundle of nerves sometimes.

Talking of nightmares, I don’t really mind them. Sure, they make me jump in my bed like a frightened rabbit but blimey do I get some really cool story ideas from them. Bring it on, brain. Try and scare me, I dare you!

You know, I think people get the impression that I’m a wimp because I’m all sweet, innocent and mousey and I sometimes faint at the sight of blood and I hate scary films…ok, I take that back, I am a total wimp. But for some reason I love horror stories. My theory is it’s because a book has never made me jump whereas films do. I really hate being made jump. Argh!

Anyway, I’ve gone off topic. Ciao!

Omigosh, what the hell am I going to do!?

If this is you, stop! Take a breath, go ommmmmmmm. Still with me?

This was me a couple of months back. I thought I would share my train of thoughts on how I stopped panicking. I had been worried about what to do after university for ages. I was even considering staying on and studying at postgrad, not because I thought it would help my career but simply because I was too scared to leave.

But after seventeen years of education, I’ve had enough! I need to get out of the classroom, get my head out of the books and actually get some proper work experience. I do have a little experience already in a wide range of things and although it didn’t seem like much at the time, looking back, I see now that every little helped. I’ve worked in a kitchen, done a few charity shop shifts (not many but hey, at least I sort of know how to use a till now), mentoring (online and in-person), radio presenting, weeding (harder than it sounds, I’ve only done it a couple of times but being out for hours in the hot sun = phew!), and I’ve had experience in first aid and working with kids. Perhaps I could use these to my advantage somehow.

My advice to people also struggling would be to look at every little thing they’ve done and you’ll see that you’ve done so much more than you originally thought. Make a list if you want. I do love a good list. Personally, I was worried because I felt so inexperienced, like I hadn’t done anything at all. But actually, I have a little experience in lots of areas and I will have learned something in every one of these experiences.

What don’t I want to do? I don’t want to stay on in full time education. In the future, I may do a part time course but for now, no more! It’s becoming way too stressful. Learning used to be fun. I don’t want to get a job that I’ll hate or be stuck in which is why I’m being very selective about where I’m applying to. Maybe it’ll take longer to find somewhere and even though these choices aren’t permanent, they’re still important. I need to take my time, but not too much time. I don’t want to be unemployed for ages and ages.

My advice in this area would be to keep your mind open and think outside the box. I bet there’s hundreds of amazing jobs out there that hardly anyone’s ever heard of. I’m just going to keep digging.

In the meantime, no panicking. I’m not so worried anymore. Even though none of my applications so far have been successful. All I can do is keep trying and I know I’ll find my place somewhere. It might just take a while.